so me and nz are officially done. we talked for an hour on the phone last night. it boiled down the fact that he does not beleive i am coming back ever, that he is scared and sad i am leaving and cant handle it. he said he was feeling smothered and it was too much like a relationship and that was fucking stupid since i was leaving. honestly i never knew someone could say since you are leaving so much in a conversation. i am really angry at the fact that at 28 he could not just man up and deal with the fact that he likes me. he as to run away like a scared boy o and he said coming to my graduation party would have been a huge deal. it is my fucking graduation party i am going to be wasted and so are all my friends and actually my family. it is a party for me. to celebrate me and the fact i could handle five years of college and am now eligible for a job that has insurance. ME ME ME ME ME!!!!!!!!!! a party for me and you could not handle coming to support me because my family will be there. then actually i am glad you did this because that is a fucking pussy thing to do.
so yeah after the hour long saga converstaion i went and met up with my ex. the ex that i love and hate all at once and always manages to be there when i really do need a shoulder to lean on (or a dick to fuck).
so i met him at the pool hall which was really nice because i had not been there in ages and it was awesome memories and then we went to some local bars. and i mean local and it made me remember one of the reasons i oringally thought of leaving. between the two bars ( they literally touch so going to them is kinda like going to both even if you only go to one) we saw four people we went to high school with. and the thing about my ex is he was captian of the basketball team and baseball so he knew alot of the older guys we went to school with and therefore i was always just his girl. and we went to a small private school so it was super movieish all the kids in the parking lot on friday hanging out and seeing what was happening later. so yeah we saw all these guys that were above us in school and they all were like oooo are still together. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO is what they heard back. ooo and one of the guys we saw was a senior when we were sophmores (me and the ex dated sr yr of hs and fresh of college and were bf for over a year when we first hooked up) and i had the hugest crush on him and so he said hi to the ex and shakes me hand asks me name and says i know the face but cant remember the name. and he was still pretty dreamy…………………………….
the night ended around sun up in the bathroom and that is not because i was throwing up but because sometimes when your roommate is asleep in the bunk below you have to find another room with a door
